i think most of you know that my uncle passed aways a few days ago.. thanks for being there for me. esp jerilyn, debbie, kim, feline, shun, the godhood and loads of other people who never fail to make me smile, like aqeel and his tarzan song! hahah. we were sitting in the canteen yesterday, me aqeel kim mike and kris and we were singing so many old songs! hahah. like.. tarzan and jane! hahah. thanks so much.

anyway, he passed away so suddenly. its hard to come to terms with it sometimes.. it seems so surreal. cause for the past one and a half years, he has been working overseas. but coming back very often to spend time with us. i love him so much. i keep thinking that this is all not happening, that the next time there is a family gathering, that he would be there. sigh. i will miss him so much. he is the only uncle i have on my mom's side. and now, on my mom's side, there is only my brother being the only boy. not including my granddad. sigh. it seemed like just yesterday that you were back for chinese new year.

when i first got to see my granddad, my heart literally broke. i've never seen someone so sad, and crying so much. he was so weak, he could barely stand. when my cousins, phoebe, celine, madeline, gillian, and my four other siblings and i went to him, we just broke down immediately. it hurt too much. no father should ever bury his son. the lose of my uncle hit my cousins and my siblings very badly. never thought we'd lose him.

i'll always cherish and lock the fond memories i have of you in my heart ahku. every single one of them.

so the last few days have been a wreck. have been spending loads of time with my relatives. heh. yeah.. the last few nights, i've been sleeping at 2 plus in the morning, and waking up quite early. was spending most of my time at my uncle's place at night. sigh. its so unfair. why couldnt the guy have shot himself instead. last night was my uncle's wake. so many people came. cousins and i were so busy running about. there is still today and tmr left. on monday we're gonna bury him.. my aunt doesnt want to cremate him. she doesnt want him to go through anymore suffering. sigh. so i guess im not going to school on monday. wont have the energy too anyway.

to the guy who shot my uncle, you asshole. do you know what the fuck you just did. you have family too. i heard that you sent your wife back to taiwan before you had that meeting with my uncle. i hope your family gets the wrath of god. you and your selfish gains left lots of people greiving. how selfish can one get. couldnt you have shot yourself instead? my uncle was so nice to help you get a job and all, and this is how you repay him. what the fuck. i hope you are in some shithole in bangkok or thailand living. just like what my uncle's friend said, for every two bullets you gave him, they'll give you five. however, i feel that they should crush your knuckles, and let you live, with no hands and legs for at least 2 years, then shot him with 5 bullets. i hate you. i really do.

what my younger sister said. 'as for the guy who shot him? i don't care. he's not worth caring about. what is there that we can do that God cannot do better? somewhere in the bible, i'm not sure where, says that we should not fear the men who throw us into jail or whatever, but instead fear the Lord who can throw us into hell for all of eternity. and that's where he should be.' it is so true.

anyway, on friday morning, kristi, debbie and i ran out of school! hahah. it was so couragous of us! we are the charlie angels! hehe. yeps. ran all around holland, starbucks, subway, coffee bean and kfc. it was so fun! hahah and stressful. then we got back to school in time! hehe. ate my subway! it was good! heh.

i never thought i'd lose you, it will be very hard saying goodbye. it seems so surreal. sigh. you were the best uncle anyone could ever have. i love you ahku.